Everything is good for Bitcoin - give me any statement and I'll explain why it's actually good for Bitcoin

Fees are too high - just shows how much demand there is

Fees are super low - it's so cheap and frictionless!

Bitcoin is banned? - they're afraid of how powerful it is

Mining is bad for environment - bitcoin actually encourages movement to renewable sources

Company buys bitcoin - institutional adoption is here! We're all rich!

Company dumps bitcoin - bitcoin is for the people, we dont need them anyway

China bans miners - it still works without them and no longer uses dirty coal!

Bitcoin moons - I'm rich!

Bitcoin crashes - I can get more for cheap!

What else y'all got?

Edit: Aliens, cheese, gyming, pooping, ww3 and injured right hands. It's all good for bitcoin!

Edit 2: let's add Simpson's, gypsys and vowels to the list!