Strap your butts in.

I've posted about Grove before, it didn't get a huge amount of traction because I assume everyone was busy laughing at how shit Safemoon is. Now that the horse is dead, thoroughly flogged and now rotting can I turn your attention to one of Safemoon's earliest and possibly scummiest partners Grove.

THIS WHOLE THING IS A FUCKING FUGAZI

Honestly, every single part of it is just a complete smoke screen, where do I even begin?

Probably with the funniest thing - last week, they were reporting trading volume almost 2x higher than Binance.. Like.. $20 Billion dollars per day higher.

$48 Billion dollars of daily trading volume on GroveX, but only $2,000 of trading volume on Safemoon Swap.... riiiiiight.

And now a former team member has come out and said that not only did Grove team know about this erroneous reporting, but they intentionally kept it that way because if it was accurate it would show that barely anybody uses the exchange!

And as another side comment about their bullshit GroveX exchange, multiple people are having issues withdrawing funds with their USD withdrawals stuck processing for months at a time. Weirdly enough, a savvy FUDDER managed to grab a team-members wallet (Carlo) and noticed Carlo is withdrawing an awful lot of USD from GroveX into another exchange... Coincidence?

The Fake Prince

It all started when they claimed that Grove was endorsed by Dubai Royalty. The claim went that his Royal Highness Butti Bin Suhail Al-Maktoum is a private investor, with the official advisor Bassam Al Falasi and will bridge the link between Grove & officials in Dubai.

As it turns out in a thrilling two-part article, not only is the connection to the Dubai Royal Family extremely tenuous, the dingleberry clinging on to the ass-hairs of the Dubai Royal family is also pumping and dumping millions of dollars worth of tokens that the founders of Grove are giving him

Falasi Uncovered: Part 1 — Faking Royalty

Falasi Uncovered: Part 2 — Grifting the Grove Green Army

Can it get even stupider?

Yep! So officially, the token is called GroveC or GroveCoin. They made a big hullaballo about "moving away from a Token and releasing their own Coin" which in the Crypto world is the native asset on a blockchain. ADA is the coin of Cardano, ETH is the coin of Ethereum, BNB is the coin of BSC, etc.

Well, as it turns out, they simply released another token on Binance Smart Chain, and changed the decimals so it was over a penny in value, rather than fractions of a penny.

When called up on this, the immense fool Mendy (who claimed to invent Internet shopping) wrote this beautiful summary:

To those that are having a time with their conversion, let me break it down really simple.

Token= fractions of pennies
Coin=whole pennies

So there you have it. Because Grove deleted 9 zeroes off their price, they're now a coin. That's all there is to it. Even though they're still just a smart contract on BSC. That's all there is to it!

Volume spikes

GroveC.. Token.. whatever, on Pancakeswap was trickling along, enjoying being pulled up in value with BNB, when suddenly it received well over a million dollars in trading volume. Of course, when you look in to it, it's just bots creating vastly unnecessary arbitrage.

Pancakeswap is virtually the only place to trade GroveCoinTokenThing, because SafemoonSwap volume is like... forty bucks on a good day. Someone tell me why $1m+ in arbitrage was necessary?

It blows my mind people are still invested in Safemoon ecosystem tokens. There is so much shit and lies and nonsense to shovel through.