I just want my freaking small payout. Why is this so hard?

I'm tired of troubleshooting and trying to figure this shit out. Crypto shouldn't be this tedious.

ALL I want to do is convert my wETH to MATIC so I can send the MATIC over to my Crypto.com account...

BUT I CAN'T DO IT!

Every time I start to setup the swap in MetaMask, we get to the end where I have to click "Submit", but it won't let me because it say's my MATIC balance is insufficient...

​

I AM TRYING TO SWAP INTO MATIC. OF COURSE IT'S INSUFFICIENT THERE IS NOTHING IN THERE YET!!!

I'm so confused, and done with Ethereum mining or GPU mining altogether. Please somebody tell me how to get my money.