Self custody and beginners a tale of woe

So I posted a few months back about wanting to self custody (due to husband constantly saying we need to as well as repeatedly reading the NYK NYC comments here) and being overwhelmed and anxiety ridden regarding the process. I received a bunch of great advice. Have watched tons of YT videos (from people y'all suggested), read tons of reddit post in beginners and here and I'm unhappy to report that I'm still overwhelmed and anxiety ridden. ????

Purchased a Jade (wasnt the first purchase either). Spent 3 hours yesterday trying to set it up. Was stuck in some perpetual loop of getting nowhere. Pretty sure I cried a couple of times, my ulcer started bleeding and I gave up.

This morning (at 4am) back to youtube watched a video about the passport...have now ordered the passport. Seems to be more simple minded person friendly...which apparently I am.

Nothing in my life has ever made me feel so inept. Even figuring out which wallet to get is nuts. Am I just too old to grasp all this shit? Single sig, multi sig, air gapped...sparrow, nunchuck, green "don't use this with that...they have a bad reputation...this is a great wallet...no that one sucks use this" I mean seriously navigating this process is super daunting.

Am I just overthinking everything (it is a character flaw of mine for sure) This isn't .0001 btc I'm talking about so the stakes are high.

Are some people simply not meant to self custody?...and by people I mean me.