The Anti-CBDC commercials we NEED!

I hope we start seeing an information campaign around CBDCs before it is too late. I thought it would be fun to come up with something even my grandma could understand…. Intended to be a 30 second infomercial.

A graphic message flashes across the screen with 50’s nuclear vibe and jazzy xylophone.

“Message brought to you by Coalition for Centralized Prosperity.” (Glitch)

Enthusiastic 50’s style commentator: “Today, we celebrate successful implementation of our nation’s CBDC. We have replaced dirty paper money with the Central Bank Digital Currency.”

Woman on the street with friends: “Oh, that is our federal government’s money, right?”

Commentator (laughing): “Well no, it is better! This is issued by a conglomerate of banks known as the Federal Reserve. That way, they are free from distractions like voter oversight!”

Boy on a bike: “How does this help me?”

Commentator: “I am glad you asked Timmy! Americans will be happy to know that the FED can now watch out for your personal health and provide dietary guidance via quotas and brand endorsement.”

Woman shopping and scans a package of hamburger with her phone

Calming woman’s voice from app: “Citizen 45739, you already have met 2lb quota for beef, please select grains, vegetables or any product from [Sunshine Brands]…. You have 14.4 hours left to spend your remaining balance.”

Woman looks around, sets the package down and hurriedly pushes her cart out of the frame.

Man working on car: “My life savings will automatically convert to this new amazing currency, correct? I need to look out for my family.”

Commentator: “Some of it will.”

Man: “And the rest?”

Commentator: “Eventually. You remember how much we dislike the old money (laughs). You will be rewarded based on your conformity and compliance with the new system.”

Punk/emo girl: “So you can turn off my money?”

Commentator: “Only if necessary.”

College age kid with friends: “What about Bitcoin?”

Commentator: “What about it?”

College kid: “…seems like the decentralized nature would keep corrupt middlemen from…..”

Commentator (interrupts): “You can see with the successful implementation of the CBDC all of your concerns of dirty money laundering and decentralization can be laid to rest. Please join us in welcoming this new productive society of the future!”

“Message brought to you by Coalition for Centralized Prosperity.” (Glitch)