You heard it right ladies and germs, Safemoon is coming out with an exchange, and I know you'll all be terribly excited to try it, so to cultivate some hype I've compiled a list of the reasons why you should consider moving from Binance or Coinbase to Safemoon!!

#1 Safety

It's in the name, right? Safemoon! Safe. Moon! When you load your funds onto an exchange, you need absolute trust that they won't, for instance, take funds they have custody (but not ownership of) and then steal them for themselves while also performing market manipulation. Twice! You can trust Safemoon to keep your funds safe and separate from their own treasuries.

#2 Competence

Bugs are a huge problem with code, especially for financial applications. It's incredibly important that code is watertight. Imagine for a second like you had a Token Swap running on Binance Smart Chain, and that due to an inefficiency in your code, it was looping over the same function four times and making the gas fees go from pennies per trade to up to $10 per trade. That would be embarassing! Now imagine that in addition to charging Ethereum prices for BSC token swaps, you also have attempted to fix this problem by publishing untested code which broke the core functionality of your own Crypto token. BOY THAT WOULD BE AN EMBARRASSING DISPLAY OF INEPTITUDE!

THEN YOU DID IT AGAIN TWO MONTHS LATER!

And then imagine that after 5 months you still don't have a single fucking clue on how to fix it!

#3 Competitive

Safemoon just published some figures of example trades on their upcoming exchange, including wisely selling some Safemoon for AVAX - a real (if not flawless) Cryptocurrency. The eagle-eyed among you may have spotted the trading fee, and the mathematically inclined can work out the percentage of that trade, minus the 10% Safemoon buy/sell tax, and, yep, that's a 1.69% fee to trade! The lowest in the business!*

*Not including Binance, Binance US, Coinbase, Kraken, Gemini, FTX, KuCoin, Gate.io, Bitfinex, Huobi, Bitstamp, Crypto.com, OKX, MEXC, Poloniex etc

Let's just go over it again, sale of 2,901,915 Safemoon, with a fee of 339,233 - that's 11.69%. Fucking insane awesome

#4 Prestige

When you hear the name "Safemoon" you just think quality. You think battle-tested, trustworthy developers who stick it through to the bitter end. Safemoon would never be caught spending their investors money on their own lavish lifestyles, or committing daylight robbery of their own investors funds.

Well there you have it folks. I hope you're just as excited to watch this complete and utter ruinous clusterfuck launch to the fanfare of the infinitely deluded awesome project launch as I am!