Use Your Superpower

To those who keep saying the market tanked because you bought in with $10 you found when you were making your bed on the pullout couch in your parents basement. I beg of you, use that superpower for the greater good.

This is actually a life hack. If you keep buying and the price keeps going down as a result then keep averaging down. But this means that the market and therefore your portfolio will also proceed to jump off a cliff, right? Tell it to do a flip on the way down. Just keep buying!

Ok you've reached this step. You kept buying the dip that keeps on dipping because you abused your superpower like Cramer abuses cocain. Now what?Once you stop buying the price will go up forever until you do buy again, but you've already bought so much and are now potentially bankrupt and so you never buy again. This is where people usually sell at a loss to pay for things like groceries, electricity bills, divorce lawyers, etc. but don't be that guy. Don't give in to the pressures of being a well-to-do person with financial responsibilities and needing to feed yourself. No meal will satisfy you quite like the next steps in using your superpowers to manipulate the market.

So what happens next? The market senses your growing desire to buy back in, coupled with your inability to do so, and the market grows with those feelings. The beauty of this is that you're already in the market. But being the fellow degen that you are the feeling of FOMO intensifies nonetheless and this fuels the market like adderal fuels a grad student. There's just no stopping it now. The markets popping off like a frenzied nursing home patient that's consumed a medicine cabinets worth of viagara. You've single handedly brought the market back from collapse all because you're irrational desire for more has fueled the market and your inability to buy has prevented it from collapse.

What happens next? Don't touch the sell button. Not yet anyway. You're what's keeping this market afloat after all. Your FOMO to both buy and sell is the fuel of the market that is setting new ATHs day after day. Time passes. The seasons change. You see your friends who have lived responsibly settle down and have families of their own while you've been camping out in whatever nearest Wendy's dumpster you can find. But you're doing this for the greater good so that not only you but others can experience the joy of being reamed by big green dildos fueled by your FOMO.

This is it. You've tried so hard and have come so far. You check your wallet and can't tell your balance from a phone number. All because of your superpower to tank the market when you buy and pump it with your FOMO and inability to buy. You've heard about profits from other degens like it were a mythological creature but have never really seen them. Not until now anyway. Once you cash out the only remaining question is what color is your lambo going to be?