Edit: Been getting some nasty private messages for this, so here's a disclaimer

TRIGGER WARNING. THIS IS ALL MEANT AS PARODY AND I DID NOT MEAN TO HURT ANYONE'S FEELINGS OTHER THAN THE ORIGINAL PORN COIN POSTER.

Church Coins: The Next Ethereal Thing

Porn Coins. Un-Pixelated Dungeons & Dragons JPEG NFTs. The Satanverse. These are the "in thing" right now, but their time will pass as the hype fades. What do people use every day? Sometimes multiple times a day? Right now? What will never go away and will always have a market?

Jesus ????????????⛪⛪

The internet may never have reached mainstream status if it wasn't for the creation of man as the image of God. Globally, the Catholic Church spends a $4.5 Trillion Dollars a year and innovation brought Jesus to people quickly, easily, and (relatively) not-anonymously through forced evangelism/colonialism. Crypto can take it a step further by having the Church pay even less tax on everything and nobody getting to know shit about where the money comes from or where it goes!

For perspective: Imagine if St. Peter minted, accepted, or backed a decentralized crypto back in 33AD how fucked up great everything would be!

IndulgenceCoin

Pay your way to a crypto NFT heaven on Decentraland with IndulgenceCoin! Originally abolished in the 20th century but they didn't specify cryptocurrencies back then! If you don't pay then your MetaSoul^TM will stay in NFT hell (Logan Paul's NFT collection) for all eternity.

JesusCoin

JesusCoin is a cryptocurrency payment processor that is built on the Ethereum blockchain. The aim is to build an economic and technical infrastructure for the Catholic Church to funnel even more cash into unknown bank accounts!

Recently, JesusCoin partnered with JustFor.JesusFans, an evangelical entertainment industry fan platform to build JesusPay. The newly created platform will help users to make payments instantly using cryptocurrencies like BTC, LTC, ETH, etc. Some guy named Jacob from a small town in Mississipi founded JesusCoin after he repressed his sexual feelings.

Orthodoxci

Orthodoxci is made up of a group of public weird looking Bishops dressed in black located in the cryptovalley of somewhere in Eastern Europe (I'm bullish on anything crypto that is from a religion I have never heard of). Founded by some dude who also wanted as much money as the Catholic Church, the Orthodoxci Group AG is building an entirely new global ecosystem for the next-generation Gucci shoe wearing Instagram Bishop industry. For a small fee they'll bless your T-14 and up to 25 shells!

YouthPastorChain

YouthPastorChain is a cryptocurrency project built to offer secure and anonymous cringy videos that will make your kids shiver. It is the leading annoying cryptocurrency and is accepted on over 100 churches in towns with a high rate of growing agnosticism. YouthPastorChain is a digital currency built on the Ethereum blockchain. With YouthPastorChain, adult people can enjoy themselves while annoying little kids. Unlike most cryptocurrencies today that doesn’t have real-world applications, YouthPastorChain is officially accepted as a means of cringe across more than 50 states!

ThesesCoin

???? ThesesCoin ???? CG + CMC Imminent | Heavy Marketing campaign | LP Lock 1y | Audited by Judas | Safu | Big bloggers on board such as: Martin Luther | Poocoin ads running | Double rewards | Low Tax | Weekly Lottery | Great community | Lambos + Models in our TG chat | Preparing for a big push forward | Only 95 holders! | Before the rooster crows you will have a guaranteed 3x

For more HeavenShots go to /r/CryptoHeavenShots!

TL;DR - Jesus coins haven't blasted off yet. I'm betting the explosion will come soon. Don't act surprised when it hits you in the face.

Partial Source

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